T-2

Figured it's been too long. So here I sit at the trusty old PC, enjoying some cookies and beer (ah ah, don't judge), and recapping life.

So I guess I've managed to stay employed for 6 weeks or so.(BRG inc.) Good for me. It's felt good to be a productive member of society again. I do miss the lazy mornings, free time with the kid, breakfast w/Mom, Facebook, constantly doing dishes... never-mind scratch that last one.

Anyway, I've enjoyed the change of pace, but it's also been rough. I started up with the seizures again. Maybe 2 nights a week, 2-4 a night. I've missed a bit of work because of it, but they have been very understanding. Which leads me back to the title.

T-2 an counting. Tomorrow is my last day of work, before we leave in two days for Cleveland. I hope for the last time. I'm looking FWD: to getting this over-with. Long-story-short, Travel Wed., Testing Thurs., Surgery Fri. morning. After that, 3-5 day stay at the luxurious Cleveland Clinic., and then home for a while.

This time around, Ella is going to ride with us on the way up. I bet she'll like the place. She'll have a good time at the hotel, and there's stuff to do in the hospital. Plus, family will be there. She'll have a good time. I'm not sure exactly when, but she'll head home with Doug and Linda.

BTW, I' starting a "How much further?" pool if anybody wants in.
$1 per 15min. time slot.
50% - 1st HMF
30% - 1st Melt down
20% - last HMF before she falls asleep

For whatever reason, this trip seems to have the least drama surrounding it. We just feel sort of calm about the whole thing. It's kinda good, it's kinda eerie. I was telling Amanda I don't really have any doubt about this trip, but I'm not optimistic either. Weird huh. This has been a year+ in the works, and now I'm just sorta, "whatever, we'll see."

Oy, look at me. I'm all Vechlempt. Pray amongst ya selves. I'll give you a topic. (travel, safety, surgery, calm, peace, recovery, success, Dr., family, hospital stay)

Tony

Hey All

It's been a somewhat crazy time for us, but it's been pretty great too.(...pretty great? Does that work?) I started at BRG Inc, in Bloomington, IN on 01/04/2010. So far I really like the place they have good jobs, good people, and an easy going atmosphere.

As far as the twitchin' goes, I still haven't had any problems since I left the hospital in early December. Pretty good(or great?) right? So assuming that holds up, I'll be working until we leave for Cleveland on 2/17. All good things. (accent on things) All good things. (accent on good)

So, please keep prayin'. We're doing well. I don't know that I have any needs so much as just if anything comes to mind. Lift it up.

Gotta run, lunch is over.

Tony

Wow, look at that thing spin...

In theory, the earth revolves on it's axis once every 24 hours. I'm not so sure. Perhaps, it's a super hero flying around the earth to speed up time, perhaps it's some sort of terrorist plot that causes our clocks to creep ever faster, I'd even be willing to consider that Al Gore is conspiring with said terrorist so he could finally support his climate change nonsense. [side note: feel free to post your favorite Al Gore jokes in the comments section. I can't get enough of them.]

Point is, seems like time is just trickling away. We all have so much to do in so little time. "Time management" tend to become "free-time allocation" "OK, so why is Tony feeding me this crap?"

Simple. Our family has had an amazing weekend. First, We have scheduled surgery to remove the legion for 2/19/2010. How 'bout that? Second, and also huge, I just accepted a job(BRG Inc. Bloomington, IN) that will start on 1/4/2010. OK now, things are looking up, huh.

So, that being said, the two biggest unknowns in our life, just became known. But for whatever reason, all of these other questions seem to pop out of the wood-work. How long should I commute to B-town? Where will we live down there? Will we Rent/Buy?
Schools? Network of friends/fam.? How about the strain of 2+ hrs on the road leaving Amanda to handle Ella by herself? When you look at these things, they all pale in comparison to what we've been through. But, we've got new challenges ahead now.

This initial period of commuting while we live, and Amanda works, in Indy will be tough but, I could emerge on the other side of this next hospital stay, as the bright, intelligent man that Amanda now wishes she'd married. I keep running into Ps. 18 type of verses. (my rock, my shield, my protector, scatters my enemies type of stuff.) So I guess I sayin', even though we worry, and life is still well outside the range of "normal", it is certainly looking up and we know we'll be fine.

And now to complete the circle, yet another prayer request, STRENGTH & CLARITY.
Amanda and I are going into a whirlwind of craziness, getting the house ready to sell, preparing for the next Clev. run, looking into homes, schools, etc. and still having the regular responsibility at home. I have a tendency to "hit a wall" and crash and that doesn't help Amanda at all. We need to not manage, but multiply our time. So, Strength, & Clarity, to know what is important & when, and have the strength and energy to accomplish it while still having time as a family.

There you go, another post that was suppose to be about 1.5 paragraphs. sorry.

Happy Christmas,
Tony

Hello all

OK, so it's been about 2-and-a-half weeks since we left the hospital and oddly enough, the same amount of time since I posted, sorry. It's been an interesting patch of life. I'm not so much complaining, just trying to find a "known" point and take inventory.

So we left the hospital, and really, I was much better than the last trip. In September, when I got back I need about 3 day to recover. I'd get out of bed for a few hours, and the go back into hibernation. This trip, I had a slow day, and then I felt good to go. The exception being that I had some restrictions. I wasn't suppose to drive, lift more than 20 lbs., bend at the waist (bend at the knees for safety), that sort of thing.

Back to the story, so I've gradually been gaining strength, which equals the ability to keep up with Ella. That's important as Amanda's the one that has a job right now. It is an odd feeling however, to go from being able to flip, toss, tickle, wrestle, and rough-house with my 4-year-old, to her being able to lift more than I can. No big deal though, It's not so much a strength issue as a pressure on the incisions thing, so as they heal I'm getting my requirements reduced. I got the stitches out on the 10th. Oh man, let me tell you it's nice to wear hats again. Thanks go out to my friendly neighborhood RN.

So, here's the bad news, we go rear-ended on Saturday night. It was not cool. Nobody like getting hit, especially on the weekend, or by someone who speeds off. But, I can temper this with some good news as well. There happened to be a witness who saw the whole thing got the guy's plate and chased 'em as far as they could. They came back to find us, sat at the Hardee's we were parked at until the Cop arrived(about an hour and 15 minutes.) As of yet, we have not heard from from the Police, Insurance, or Surgeon, but it is the first business day after it happened.

BTW, a friend of mine recently posted a quote by "John Lenon"
"Life is what happens while your making other plans." Seems appropriate, huh.


So there you go, People often ask, "What's goin' on man" or "Is there anything new in you life" and I've been responding with, "not really, we're just in one of those seasons where your in a holding pattern." We'll Looks like that's over. We seem to be pretty busy between the go-ing's on of life and Christmas and all of that. As we've had to depend on friends and family for... lots. It seems like Christmas is simpler. You relize in a more concrete form (not just from a pulpit) that family really is all you have. People say "At least you have you heath" I will argue that a group people that value and support is more valuable. I've heard my mother say, more than once, the gift of your time is the most valuable one. Of course... she's my mother.

So that's where we are, what we're doing, how we're using our time. You know the drill, pray please. Also, Have a merry Christmas.
I'll let you know when I get some detail on stuff.

Tony

Comming home...

I'm unhooked,showered, and getting ready to go. I should be released from my deluxe accommodations here at the EMU in room 3 soon and then we'll be headed home.

The Electrodes came out yesterday. It was less than efficient, and no time lines were kept, but that's not really news. We started 2 hrs. late. I spent 5 Hours in recovery (instead of 60-90 min.) most of this is because the nurses have such a hard time getting a hold of Dr.'s to get orders. The important thing is that it all went well and I got back to the room with out complications.

That brings us to today. After speaking with the Gonzalez (Surg), he's got a more positive outlook for things to come. The details are a bit much to explain here, but I am much relieved. Anyway, I as I've said so often, on behalf of Amanda, Ella and myself, Thank you for your prayers.

Last day with a tail

No, I'm not evolving, I'm having the electrodes removed at 1p today. I cant wait. I got these things put in on Tuesday the 24th @ 7:30a. We arrived at the hospital at 6a per our instructions. Since then, I haven't had anything more than a sponge bath. So... Amanda is ready for this to end too.

We have been telling doctors, surgeons, residents, nurses & assistants that we need to get out of here "No later than 10a Thurs. morning. They all have been saying it's no problem. I'll believe it when I'm out the door. But I do think they will make an effort.

But, I guess I should tell you about the consultation with Gonzalez(surgeon). He's giving us some options about how to proceed. As, I give you this, keep in mind he has not received the results from the latest sizzle test.

Anyway, Opt. 1) Do nothing, wait for better medicine, or better technology to develop so the risks will be reduced in the future.

Opt. 2) Proceed with the transection, go on as planned and take the risk of a "weak" arm/hand (anything from mild lose of feeling to completely useless non-functioning arm.)

Opt. 3) Still proceed, but in a different manor, preform a DTI ( a form of MRI that shows actual brain fibers.) Then, While the transection is in process, they will wake me up under a local anesthesia, and constantly test my motor function while he is removing tissue. Wow!

He is leaning toward Opt.3. He says there's about a 60% chance of completely removing the seizures, and having no affect on my hand. but with opt. 3, there is a much better chance of being able to rehab the "weakness".

It's a lot to digest when a surgeon looks you in the eye and tells you all of this and you've already come this far, with 10 holes in your head. We knew it was a possibility, but it's not what we expected for some reason.

Well I don't know that I can be anymore open/transparent than that.
They should take me to the OR in a little less than an hour so.

I'm Tony Rench
Stay classy Indianapolis

Not so bad...

So let me tell you, I was the Sizzle. (see last post) That was some crazy mess. They'd click a button, and my leg or hand or whatever would twitch or tingle. Or, They'd be basically make my brain pause. Surreal.

Anyway, we got through 4 of the 6 electrode tests which took about 2.5 hours. We're going to start again in the morning.

After that, All info from all test will be reviewed by many doc's and surgeons in the afternoon. I'll have a consultation after that. They should remove the electrodes Wed. morning, and release me Thursday morning.

At least that's how it's suppose to go. We'll see.

Thanks for the prayers,
T

Happy Thanksgiving

Hey everybody. Just thought I'd throw a post up to let you know things are going okay. Also, to share a few pictures.

First, I thought you all should see something Shannon made for me. I've been having a lot of fun harassing Cleveland Browns fans.
Thanks Shannon for helping me look good walking the halls.
We spent Thanksgiving Day watching football in the room, M52-03 and having a wonderful Thanksgiving meal, turkey loaf and all. Someone here did bring me pumpkin pie, God bless her.

As far as my twitching goes, I haven't been very productive, but the little bit I have been, they've gotten information from, so that's good. They are taking me off my last medication tonight, so it should only get more exciting from here. With a little luck, we'll be home early next week.

That's really about it for now, I appreciate the prayers. Hope to see you next week.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Hello to all

Hey,
It's been a while, and today is my one month "due date" if you will. (thanks for the book Portel) Anyway, I wanted toss a post up to say "all is well". The few problems I'd had in weeks past have seemed to stop. So, thanks for you prayers. Anyway, not much to say, just thanks, and talk at ya later.

T

Round 3...

Titled for a couple reasons. 1, this was our third trip to C-Clinic. 2, This is the 3rd time I've tried to write this post. Either, distraction or DSL failure have gotten in the way before. Let's move on.

As you've read in previous post, we took off on Wednesday, had our appointments on Thursday, drove home Thursday-night picked up the kid / dog Friday and now you have a time line.

For the sake of not boring the crap out of you(But still no promises), we're only going to talk about Thursday. We arrived at the clinic around noon. BTW, calling this place a "clinic" is retarded. The word "clinic" makes me think of the show Becker, or maybe the emergency care clinic that's often part of a strip mall. Still, perhaps I should be cautious with the word "retarded" as I'm frequenting neurologists. It's bigger than any hospital, I've ever seen. Bigger than a community college. I dunno, maybe even a small D1 school. Sorry, back to not boring the crap out of you. 1st appointment was at 1pm with Dr. Gonzalez. He's my Neurosurgeon. Yup...Neurosurgeon. He will be preforming my SEEG.

The SEEG
This conversation was both calming, and nerve-racking. He was able to explain how low the probability of any complications are, but he was very detailed in what could go wrong. #1 concern, hitting a blood vessel and causing a "bleed". The size and location of the bleed determine the outcome / consequences. #2 - an infection. When was the last time you heard this, "Oh, I'd love to, but this brain infection is killing me."? I know bad choice of words. #3 - Hitting, clipping or crimping a vessel. That means stroke.

So, There you go. That's the bad news, here's the good. Concern #1 has a .05% chance of happening. They only go down from there. He is very positive about the result of the SEEG. He also seems to be optimistic for the extraction. Also good. He give a little higher #'s than Hantus did. I suppose he can be a bit more accurate, 'cause hes doing the work. More good news: We were told that we'd have to wait until Feb. for this SEEG. While we were waiting for the Dr. in our little holding pen, they got a spot or someone canceled or something, so right now we're scheduled for 11/23. They also said the would move that date up if they could.

On to the good stuff. The SEEG is a little different than I understood. Instead of two electrodes, there will be up to 16. Oy. He said "...you can compare them to spaghetti noodles". They are about the same size (2mm), but don't stick to the wall when cooked. After every thing is well placed in my head, I'll be wrapped up and sent to recovery for a short time. Then, on the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit. I'm sure those nurses can't wait to get me back. Anyway, much the same story as before, stay till ya twitch. They want about 5 this time. That's a bit frighting to me. But, I know they can stop the twitchin' at any time. All it takes is a little bit of IV happy sauce.

So let's say they get their 5. Now we wait. At best, they have everything they need and schedule a resection. Which is what Dr. Gonzales says is most probable. If that's the case we wait two months for my head to recover, before break out the exact-o knives. Second possibility, didn't get what we needed, so we need to replace the spaghetti (electrodes). The same two months apply here. Third, everything worked, we see it clearly and know where it and your motor functions are, but know it's decision time. "How much do you really use your left hand"?(leg, butt-cheek, whatever)

Yea, so, there it is. In all it's complicated, intense, gory, wonder. That's about it.

Oh yea, the we had a FMRI done that took about an hour. It's basically your standard run of the mill MRI but then you get instructions. It measures the increase in blood to areas of the brain to preform functions. After that we left and got home around 11:30p. Long day. Sorry for the novel. I'll try to keep it shorter next time.

As is standard fare for us right now, we continue to be greeted by people that are praying for us. That's great. Thank you all for all of you prayers.

Tony and fam.

Alllrightythen... (continued)

OK, not so rushed now. I'm sitting in my hotel room enjoying the dim luminance produced by by Dave's laptop. That does not mean that Dave is here, it means he's kind enough to share is toys. But I digress...

Speaking of which, as I've read over some of my posts, It becomes apparent that my grammar / spelling is not the best. Too bad. Amanda and others have pointed it out to me, but to be honest, its sort of a by product of the amount of drugs, the fact that I usually post when somethings going on, so I'm tense, and I'm still not good with a lappy keyboard. However, I don't plan on getting an editor anytime soon.

So where was I? Oh yes, right now we're on the North side of Columbus, about 2.25 hrs. out from the clinic. and our first appointment is at 1pm. So tomorrow, we'll get up and enjoy a easygoing morning, check out, and be on our way.

Just to keep current we have a meeting with the surgeon at 1p, and the FMRI at 2:30p. We should know results in about a week.

Type @ ya soon,
Tony

Alllrightythen...

So the short story is we got a call from Cleveland saying, "hey, we're down a tech, so if you want to do the FMRI this year better get up here. So after a brief nightmare with schedulers, we're on our way out of town at around 7:45p staying the night half way and then we have two apts. midday tomorrow.

Wish us luck gotta run.

Tony

And there's the flop

That not twichin' reference, or even a city pool reference, it's a poker reference.

After we got news of from the Doc, we were driving back home. Amanda was concerned that I was "not OK". So I made this analogy, Some will understand it some won't.
In Texas hold 'em, you get a couple cards, and the game starts. That's where we've been since... along time. You look at you cards, you try to be optomistic, but really you have no idea what hand you have. I'll forgo the wagering aspects. next comes "the flop". Three card are placed on face-up on the table shared by all in the game. We now have a full 5 card hand. the only uncertainty are the next two cards to come up. They can help. They can help, they can hurt, but I pretty much know what odds are.

OK, as I type that it sounds a bit dramatic. But, that where we are. The Cleveland clinic did a great job with their testing. They learned 10 times more in a week than in... ever... anywhere... all put together.

But, since they can see the legion, see the epileptogenic zone(EZ), know where motor functions are located, they know the risk. And here it is, 10% - 25% of having a weakened left hand. Doc was very clear that he can only speak in generalities. The numbers are general, the term "weakened" is general. Sometimes it happens and people "remap" and regain the function. No numbers for that. So that's the bad news, sort of "ripping off the band-aid" style.

Here's the good news. He can get it! The EZ that is. The EZ is where the seizures are emanating from and it is directly adjacent to the legion. For the sake of more general numbers, 50%-60% of never having another seizure. That jumps to around the 90% area if you change it to having far less, and less sever seizures. He will also get the legion but is not sure he can get all of it. The legion is sort of an indirect culprit. It's a very small area that just formed incorrectly (I guess my sister was right) and will not metabolize food. So now it's basically dead. Interesting tidbit, your brain is the consistency of jello. That legion is more like potato.

So that's an overview of the good and bad news, on to plan of action. I have so the we have a better idea of how close the regions are to on another, we're going to do some more testing. I know, I know... I'm shocked too. regardless, first up is a functional MRI (FMRI) currently scheduled for 10/14. They are trying to move that up for me. On the same day, I will have a consultation with the surgeon. He wil most likly first preform a stereo EEG (SEEG). I know the link says "childrens", but doc gave me the same info and #'s so it should explain well for you.

That leads me back to the top. The result from over a week of monitoring, and a crap load of testing turns up "the flop" To come, FIRM - "the turn", SEEG - "the river". It's getting to be an increasingly high stakes game. And I dunno I guess the "the flop" if you will, sort of jerked the cavalier approach to the whole thin into perspective. At some point I'm either going to have to fold, or go all in, and of course live with the consequences.

This is not my most up lifting post, so I'll let it go where it is. I'll remind you-all and myself the the goal was to be informative, honest & transparent. So I guess I don't have a motivational blog. Whatever.

We're still here, glad to have you-all, your prayers, your help and encouragement.

Gimme a couple days and I'll put up some more stuff. In the mean time, if you have Q's let me know and I'll answer them the best I can.

Tony

T-22

Count down to insanity. So here we go. Amanda's in the other room putting makup on. I'm on the computer putting out the last blog from my home PC. Shortly, We'll be packing all of our well pack and planed bags into the car and hitting the road. It's 10 O'colck. 22 hours till the first appointment of the whole fiasco.

I was talking to a several friends through the course of yesterday, and told him I was sort of in "the calm before the storm". now that we're about to get into the car, I feel a bit more stormy. Still calm, but stormy. Maybe It's an "eye of the storm" sort of thing. I dunno.

Anyway, I wanted to post this to say "We're off!" & again "Please pray". Everything is taken care of. Ella is Happily w/ G-ma & G-pa, the dog is with friends, the hose is taken care of(even clean), and we're ahead of schedule. Most importantly, we're rolling with God. Before I get to reflective, I'm gonna go.



Type at cha later,
Tony

Wow...

Has it really been two weeks since I've updated on here? I suppose so. Oh well, sorry. What can I tell you about the last to weeks? Man... It's been quite a ride. To tell you the truth not that much has happened, but just the enormity of what is happening and how close we're getting is starting to catch up to us. Along with that, just the ordinary pressures and strains of life, love, and godliness start to become pretty taxing. Ah well... Let it begin!

So back to Today, August the 26th. I've recently spoken with our scheduler at Cleveland. Asked her directly, "Do you still have us down for an 8/31 admission?".
And she does. "Are there any shortages I need to be aware of that could be a problem?". Believe it or not, she wanted to know why I asked. Of course, I explained the previous failure in a respectful manor. She assures me there's nothing to worry about. And yet, 5 days out, I worry. Something tells me this just wont be as smooth as it needs to be.
We'll see.

So we're starting to get ready for our "vacation". have people lined up for various things. Trying to meet with people as I can before I go. I feel like I'm running out of time. So, as this week comes to a close, if I don't manage to get you, I'm sorry.
I can think of a lot of folks that I really wanted to get in touch with before I left, but just sort of ran out of time. I don't know why, but I didn't see this time shortage coming.

This week, Ella is a major focus for Amanda and I. Last night we took her to the mall and just sort of let her do her own shopping. Which means we went to a little girls jewelry store, a candy shop, and we did a little shopping for a new outfit. Not much. Of course Dinner, and a Cinnabon as well. 'Cause there just wasn't enough sugar in the candy. Today... Chuck E. Cheese. "Where a kid can be a kid". And, where an adult can sit and have a very average cup of coffee if you go early enough. But she had a blast and we got to see some friends. Tomorrow night, dinner with Mimi (my mother) and who knows what else.

While I'm on the topic of Ella, We sent her heart monitor back! We had it for two months, and could never find an episode of her SVT. We asked frequently and I don't think she had any that we just didn't catch. So, that's awesome. We're probably done with that. Doc, didn't want to see her or have her take anything. Just sent the stupid monitor back. Great. Thank ya Jesus, and thank you all for your prayers.

More good news, while I'm at it. I think last post I said I was improving with my seizures. I seem to have kept that going. I haven't had any in... well probably since my last post. I think that's pretty good. I'll take it, and it does make it easier to think clearly and make rational decisions in these coming weeks.

Well I should post more often. It looks lik I ramble on if I wait too long.
I'll save the rest for later.

Tony

Whaz-up which-U

So I had several people ask over the last few days, and I'll tell you. "I'm doing alright." That's not your standard "Pavlovian" response greeting/answer.

Male 1: Hey man, How ya doin'?
Male 2: Fine. How 'bout you?
Male 1: Ah, you know, I'm doin' alright.

How 'bout some tunes?



Not at all, In fact "alright" is an improvement over the last few weeks to be blunt. The last few weeks have been rough and I've counted my weeks in good nights as opposed to bad ones. However, this week we seem to be making a turn around. I've put a small string of seizure -free nights together, and the the nights that aren't, seem to be lighter. It's a good thing. So while I can't tell you that I've been miraculously healed, I feel as thought I'm improving.

With that in mind, I begin to become cautiously optimistic for the future and for Cleveland. Now that I have some control over my evenings/weeks it seems easier to get through this waiting period. 2.5 weeks isn't as daunting as it was before. A good thing.

A good example:
We were at a friends party for her 1 year-old. While there, we made plans to hope in the car the next day and go to Holiday World. That's pretty cool. Perhaps your family is spontaneous and this seems small, but this never happens around our place.
Regardless, we did it. It was exhausting, but an absolute blast! Ella will probably ask to go every weekend. So much fun. If you're an FB person than maybe you've seen photos, if not, here you go.

So, where was I? Oh yes... doin' alright.
I want to let you all know that I am in fact doin' alright. I could be better, but so could everyone else. So once again, I solicit your prayers, and am thankful for all the support offered/given.

I'll write you soon.
Tony

hey Hey HEY

How's everybody doing? It's been a while, so I thought I'd get back to it.
I was on the phone with a friend today and realized I haven't kept y'all up with current events. I have settled down a bit, so here's a more reasonable walk through of what's goin' on. (can you hear Marvin Gaye in the back ground?)

The new time line is pretty much the same as the first except it begins on August 31th. So essentially, I got pushed back about two months. A few other changes are apparent this time around. In round two, we are getting paperwork that tells us our admission date should be considered tentative. Hmmm... how interesting. More specificaly, they say "we will let you know 1-2 day ahead of you admission if there is a change". Well, we'll be a bit more proactive than that.

Also, the schedule includes time for surgery. Now this is a surprising change from before. I wonder if it to is subject to the rescheduling due to... whatever. Just to be clear, no surgery is planned, just scheduled. Not sure what that means. I guess I've got a block of time reserved.

Anyway, now you're up to date. I'll get back soon with more.

As always, please keep the prayers coming.
Thanks,
Tony

As promissed, good news.

Yea, so some good news... Here we go.
I unfortunately had a seizure last night, which does not sound like good news. However, it's the first in about two and a half weeks. Pretty good. I feel like I'm able to function a good bit better, which is necessary to control a four-year-old.
Anyway, as far as that goes things are better.

Also, I have a pretty good foot in the door for a new job. Much needed. As of yet no offer, but I should get a call soon. I've looked and looked and there's just not much out there. So, A. I'm thankful to be afloat, & B. I'm also excited about what's to come.

We took a little trip up to S. Beloit. We saw a lot of family and got a chance hang-out with some of Amanda's family's recent graduates. So using that as a backdrop, I'm also grateful that we have quite a group of family and friends that are good to us, and very supportive.

And naturally, there's Amanda. Who's taken on perhaps more than she bargained for with the whole "for better or for worse..." thing. She's good to me. Sometimes not very nice, but sill, I think she kinda likes me. Love ya baby.

Anyway, that's it for now.
This is me signing off, saying "support comes in many forms, steel reinforced concrete, bras, and friends, just to name a few."

Please keep the prayers coming, we certainly appreciate them.

Tony

(Wow that was deep)

So... Here we go

This, obviously the first post of more than one, is the continuation of my effort to communicate with everyone, (family, friends, co-workers, church-folk) the whole lot of people around me. I began to give updates on the Cleveland trip, my health, & what not through the facebook's notes feature, but it proved a bit limited. Ergo, Whaz Shakin' Baby is born. Laughter... good.

I'm going to try to be very transparent in this blog. I ask that you do not share it or it's contents with anyone. As before, I'm sending this out to people who I consider "safe". If your reading this, it's because I think you care, will pray for me and my family, and will respect my privacy.

I'll start with the past just so I have an accurate record.

May 4th, 2009, 3pm
"Hey all,
A lot of you know my situation and have asked for updates, and some of you don't know. Regardless, you're getting this note because I think you care and will pray for us.

So here's the Readers Digest version:
As, my epilepsy has gotten worse, I've burned through medications and am strongly considering surgery.

So we have waited and waited as you may know to get into the Cleveland Clinic. Well, a while back, I received a call saying that my files/case were reviewed by not a doctor but by a group of doctors in some sort of Physicians conference/meeting. Furthermore, today I received some dates. July 6th - 14th.

I was contacted by a scheduler and given the basic rundown.
- EEG
- PET scan
- MRI
- DR/Surgeon consultation
- 5 day monitoring
- then we'll see what happens

So, my request, all of this is pretty ominous, and incredibly fast-paced. Please pray obviously for a good outcome, that I would walk away from Cleveland, and never have to take another pill or have another seizure. But also, that Amanda and I would be able to think quickly and clearly. That we would not be overwhelmed by the craziness of the situation, but instead have great discernment to know exactly how to handle all that is thrown our way. Please include the Dr's while you're at it. They are incredible physicians and surgeons, however still human. Last but not least, our daughter will be away from us for a while. So while she'll be glad to be with cousins and friends, she can get nervous and anxious. And her parents will miss her much.

So that's it in a nutshell. I guess.
Thanks for your prayers,
Tony"

Let's move on...
Now, we're a little less than a month out from our trip. None of the above details have changed, but we're getting ever closer. Which is good... and bad. I'm anxious to get there and get this all over with, but at the same time of course there is an element of fear. As I'm just getting started with this blog, I'll start simply by soliciting prayer. For now we don't have a lot of physical needs. That time will come, and I'll try not to be to stubborn about it. But for now simply pray. Bob used to pray over me "Let the peace of Christ reign in your heart... Col 3:15" That's sort of where I've been at lately and were I'll let you take it from there.

That's it for now,
T